Outside, in the world, there are projects and plans I have not completed yet. But inside there is absolute completeness, absolute wholeness. No gaps. Nothing to fill in, nothing to improve, to attain or accomplish.
It wasn’t always like this.
I can remember when this was not my experience. No matter how well things seemed to be going on the outside, inside there appeared to be something missing, something that still needed to be done, attained, accomplished, or improved. Where would the whole self-help industry be without this feeling of incompleteness?
When I would meditate or do retreats, it seemed that no matter how powerful the experiences were, I wasn’t quite there yet. I wasn’t enlightened or I wasn’t enlightened enough.
I didn’t feel complete. At least not completely complete. I didn’t feel whole. I couldn’t tell what was missing. It was subtle, a mysterious missing piece of the puzzle.
The experience of incompleteness puts us on the spiritual path.
And that’s what makes us searchers, isn’t it? Yes, there’s usually more obvious suffering too. But I’m talking about that very subtle inner emptiness or incompleteness we’re usually not even aware of unless we get very quiet. I think that’s really what brings us to the spiritual path.
It’s good to bring our attention to this feeling of inner incompleteness and stop avoiding and repressing it because our awareness of it can actually lead us to the inner completeness I’m talking about. That’s what turns us from searchers into finders.
Awareness of incompleteness leads to completeness.
Everything in our experience is guiding us home one way or another. Our conditioning has taught us to avoid what is painful and attach to what is pleasant. And that’s why we continue to suffer. Pain and pleasure are simply two sides of the same coin. Everything is constantly shifting and changing in every moment. That is the nature of the world of form. If we attach to and chase what is pleasurable, it will soon change and we will end up suffering. If we avoid what is painful, we will fail to learn the important lessons they are here to teach us and we can be sure they will return until we do.
And so it is with this subtle feeling of incompleteness. What is it? Where did it come from? What is it here to teach me? If we focus our attention on it instead of avoiding, resisting or repressing it, the experience will become quite strong. And no, it’s not pleasant at all. But, as long as we continue avoiding it, we will never learn the critical message it is giving us.
Real questions lead to real answers.
If awakened beings feel totally complete, why don’t I? This is a very good question to ask yourself. Don’t settle for superficial answers like “Because I’m not awake.” or “Because I didn’t do certain practices, meditate as long as they have or have their experiences.” These are superficial cop out answers. Dig deeper. If awakened beings no longer experience this inner incompleteness and now feel totally complete, then I can too. Why don’t I? Awakened beings are not gods or special people. Don’t fall into that myth. It doesn’t serve you. They are just like you. So why don’t I feel totally complete? Explore this question. Dig deep. What is the source of this feeling of incompleteness? Is it even real?
We have so many conditioned thoughts and beliefs about who we are and what life is. This is what creates the dreamworld most people consider reality. Until we begin to question these thoughts and beliefs, we will remain in this dream. And this feeling of incompleteness will continue. Don’t fear it. Don’t avoid it. It is pointing toward a greater truth. It is pointing toward inner completeness and wholeness. It is guiding you home.
What you can do:
There is nothing special about me or any awakened being. To believe this myth is to hide from your own awakened nature. I can help you discover this, but I do it by removing these myths so you can discover your own awakened self. There are many resources on this website: blog posts, videos, guided meditations, etc. I highly recommend the Enlightenment Experience Groups as people seem to be making very quick progress through the simple group practices we do and the group energy is very effective. Focused individual sessions are also available.
Thanks