When a sleeping dream can be more real than waking life. This is a profound dream that points directly to Truth.
October 4, 2017
I must admit I use sometimes the possibility to contact you without outer reason.
I can not explain why….it is an addition to Satsang and satisfies something in me. Your words always have an effect. I also try not to overdo it.
This morning I had a very strange dream:
I was a German soldier (not exactly sure about it) somewhere in Russia, on a small farm, there was a farmhouse and a barn. A nice sunny day in spring. There where a small boy and a little older girl, but both small children.
I knew there was danger, and I took the boy up, holding him while he hugged me arround my neck, and the girl grabbed my hand. I rushed to go around the house, as there was danger behind me.
Then shots were fired and bullets pierced my back. I did my best to cover the children as I was falling down, so to protect them with my body.
More shots were fired, piercing my body. I was motionless, could not move. I was dead, but satisfied that children were alive. After some time children began to move, trying to get free of my heavy body. I got fear that they will remain pinched down with my heaviness and will die of starvation, but they manage to come free.
They went little back and found their dead father. After that they come to me again. I then recognize I am not dead yet, children know that and come to me, as I am the only one left who cares about them. I want to say something nice to them, but cannot speak Russian. Then I remember few words and tell them: “Ja ljublju vas” (I love you).
At that moment I recognize that I am dying and that I am not only speaking to the children, I speak to all this beautiful existence, to all that life, to all this unbeliaveable beauty, now as I am leaving it all forever.
I see the beauty in everything, this wonderful colors of grass in front of me, and some purple flowers behind it. With my last strength I grab the grass to feel it one last time, to smell it, to enjoy life as it is.
I now see our stupid and futile ways in that we spend our precious moments, wasting them away in trying to conquer, do and own and in similar stupid ways….when we have just to be here and appreciate this wonder of wonders.
I begine to die, all is being stripped away from me….the full tragedy not of dying, but of never really have lived strikes me like a fist.
At this time I began to be conscious of dreaming (although on some level I always was). I know I have to let it go, to die and be free. But my mind kicks in, I recognize I cannot do anything. Dream and waking state mixes, and before the twister that was stripping me of everything could finish his work….I wake up.
I recognize my usual ways of behaving and thinking has took over, and I lost the possibility of seeing life as it is. I know how I do it, but I cannot change it. It is not in my power to decide when and if I will be free. But gratitude for that insight was in me.
That is all Peter, I shared a dream with you. If you have some words for me I will listen gladly.
I am helpless. I can not find right words to communicate what I feel for you and about your effect on me.
Just thanks and love and gratitude. I am so happy that I have a chance to be in your presence on Satsangs. I will be with you this Saturday if possible. But I also often feel your presence or influence on me.
October 5, 2017
Wow, Tomislav. I am very moved by this dream. It is beautiful. You are a hero, a Bodhisattva, helping all the world even at the loss of your own life. This is very beautiful. I am touched by this. And then you see life as it is, the miracle, the incredible, fragile beauty. Wonderful dream. It has a lot to do with truth. This is the true you. It is interesting because in the dream you experience reality. Then when you wake up you go into the common human dream.
If you agree, I would like to share this letter on Facebook. This is a dream of truth. Then when you wake up, the powerful habit of conditioning covers over this realization that you had in the dream. This is common. When we wake up from sleeping, immediately the mind-created world goes to work. This is my bed. This is my room. This is my body. This is what I need to do today. It is all so familiar. I am so familiar. The miracle of life as it is, of what I am, is covered over by our waking dream.
This means you are very close. You see all of this. You experience all of this. You realize all of this. Even your frustration about it is good. It shows your direction is very strong.
This dream is so amazing. It points to the entire human drama, the ignorance of truth and the realization of truth. Everything is in this dream. It is amazingly profound. Thank you for sharing it with me. It completely touches my heart.
I would not worry too much about your conditioned thinking taking over. More and more I see this falling away by itself. Just continue with what you are doing. You have seen reality, even if only in a dream, but a very special dream. It’s wonderful, beyond any words. It is natural for a shift to happen. This is better. In your daily waking life, you will notice more shifts, more cracks in the veil of the waking dream, where you can see these miracles of life be revealed. This will happen naturally. Don’t be in a hurry. And don’t let your intention go. Keep your intention strong, but instead of doing and trying so much, relax, observe and pay attention. Pay attention to life. Listen. Life itself is always showing you, teaching you, just as in having this wonderful dream.
You are open. You are ready. And so more and more you will see what life is showing you. What a great adventure. I am so happy for this. I am so happy for you.
Thank you for sharing this with me, Tomislav. And if you give me permission I will be happy to share this with others who may be as touched by it as I am.
October 5, 2017
of course you can share it.
Thank you again for your words, they are as always a beacon of light for me.
It is as you say, I’m allowed more and more glimpses. Few days ago, as I was doing my physical exercises in the morning, a beam of sunlight lit a small part in front of me. I was in an instant blinded by the beauty of the moment. It was clear for me that the only place where beauty can exist is now….and a timeless now. Not few milliseconds later. Not when you think about it. It was so clear. And then I began to think how I can convey what was seen and little later the movie of my life was on again. But what was seen can not vanish. It is here. The cracks you are talking about. I will do as you advise, pay attention to life and relax more (I think that is happening anyway, by itself).
Thank you again and I am so blessed to have met you