Someone we love dies,
lies to us,
cheats on us.
There are many causes for this broken heart. We are left with suffering, pain in our heart and a deep longing for a more ideal life, a life where this person did none of those things.
A broken heart can continue for many years. It can prevent us from moving on with our life, finding a new and healthier relationship, not only with others but with ourself. It can distract and prevent us from finding True Love.
There is a simple practice that can immediately heal this broken heart and lead directly to the experience of True Love. To work, you must do this practice. Just knowing it is not enough. You must do it to see the amazing results.
Please understand that a broken heart does not come from love. It has nothing to do with love. A broken heart comes from thoughts, illusion, and a fundamental misunderstanding of you, the person you love, and of love itself. If you can accept that this might be true, we can continue to the next steps where we actually put this fundamental understanding into direct practice.
You undoubtedly carry a picture of this person in your mind. For the purpose of this practice you need a physical picture. If you no longer have one, see if you can find one on Facebook or other social media. If you don’t use social media, ask a mutual friend if you can borrow a picture. Choose the most ideal picture you can find. Choose a picture that immediately causes your heart to ache. Be brave. It’s well worth it. It’s easier if the picture only contains the image of your loved one. But it will work if others are in the picture. Your focus will be riveted on this person anyway. Once you have this picture or several pictures, you’re ready to begin.
As you gaze on this picture, the pain in your heart may increase. Longing may increase. Many emotions will arise. Don’t turn away. Allow all these emotions to be exactly what they are in this moment. As you stay with them, you will notice how they change. Be with this experience. Realize that you are enough space to handle these emotions or any emotions without being overwhelmed or drowning in them. You can experience them fully. Allow whatever emotions arise to be in this space of you. There is much more here than these emotions. Be the space for these emotions to be whatever they are. This is the painful part of this practice. The more you allow the emotions to be without resisting them, the less painful it will be. You cannot be aware of illusion without being fully open to it.
As you look deeply into this picture, as you deeply feel all the emotions that come up, realize that all these emotions come entirely from your thoughts about who you are, who the person in the picture is and your perceptions of whatever happened between the two of you. Realize that these are just thoughts. Accept the truth that these are just thoughts. They are not reality. They are not truth. To experience truth, to experience true love, you must let these thoughts go. Letting go means you no longer believe these thoughts are reality. You realize they are just thoughts. Just this realization and acceptance alone helps your attention fall away from them.
The truth is you do not know who you are. You do not know who the person in the picture is. You don’t have a clue. Nobody does. You are believing your thoughts and your belief in these thoughts as true are creating all this suffering you feel.
So right now, just for a moment, let these thoughts go. Continue looking at the picture, but let go of all thoughts that you know this person, that you know anything about this person and that you know anything about the one looking at this picture. Most of us are not used to doing a practice like this. We’ve believe our thoughts for so long. That’s why it’s a practice. The more you can let go of your thoughts, the more your broken heart will change to peace, love and joy. The more you let go of your thoughts, the more your perception of the person in that picture will change. Where there was suffering, there will now be freedom, peace, happiness and an unconditional love that includes all. That experience doesn’t take any thoughts or effort at all. It is the simple realization of truth.
This is the part that takes practice. And this is the part that shows the amazing results. I said this was a simple practice and it is. Understanding this practice is very simple. Doing this practice will take practice. All of our lives we have been conditioned and addicted to our thoughts. We believe our thoughts are reality. This not only causes suffering in our intimate relationships but in every aspect of our lives. Doing this practice will not only change heartbreak to love, it will free you from suffering in all aspects of your life.
Repeat Step 4. Because of our lifetime of conditioning to believe our thoughts, we need to continue this practice and continue seeing the very tangible and obvious results. We have spent a lifetime being conditioned. It’s impractical to think that one experience of freedom is all we need. The addiction to belief in thoughts as reality will be triggered again and again and again. The difference is now we have a practice to counteract this. Now we have an understanding of what is really going on. The more diligent we are with this practice, the easier it will become. Eventually thoughts will no longer cause suffering at all. Eventually we will realize the freedom we’ve always had.
Thoughts are wonderful. They help us do many things. We could not communicate through language without thoughts. We would have no culture or identity. But thoughts are not an accurate representation of reality. They are an abstraction and limitation of what is really here. A single moment of freedom from belief in thoughts as reality shows us this. The world appears to change completely. We appear to change completely. The object of our affection seems to change completely. Everything appears to change completely. It is only the end of illusion and the realization of truth, what we call in spiritual terms Awakening. And Awakening is the end of all heartbreak and suffering.
Because this is a new practice and experience for most of us, it can help to have someone guide us through this in the beginning until it becomes more familiar. If you’re interested in having me guide you through this process, you can sign up for an individual session on my website: Individual Session
The Zen of Love
The Zen of Love – Discover Your Own Awakened Heart is a book about True Love. It will be helpful to read this book to have a deeper understanding of what love really is and what you’ve been missing. You can find out more about this book here: The Zen of Love