No matter what is happening in your life, you are always fundamentally okay. Your True Nature is one of great peace, contentment, unconditional love, and complete freedom from all suffering. Nothing that happens in this life can take that away from you or change it in any way. It is only your conditioned thoughts that hide the direct experience of this from you. May this video help you remember.
The Miracle of Mindfulness
The Miracle of Mindfulness
Freedom from Suffering
It’s a strange word “mindful” because it really means a mind that is empty of thought. When a mind is empty of thought it is full of life. It is full of everything. It is fully alive. When a mind is full of thought it is cut off from life. When a mind is empty of thought all of life is available.
A mind that is full of thoughts is always living either in the past or the future. A mind of thoughts cannot experience this present moment, which is the only real life there is. So a mind of thoughts lives in a dream world of past or future. Since this is not real, the mind of thoughts experiences suffering in various ways (frustration, disappointment, confusion, doubt, fear, anxiety, grief and anger).
Suffering and Mindfulness
This suffering is a wakeup call to the mind. It’s telling the mind, this is not real. Suffering itself is not real. It’s only a message – sometimes a fierce message – telling you that what you think is in conflict with reality. The way to deal with suffering is not to run away from it, try to get rid of it or distract your attention away from it. The way to deal with suffering is to listen to it. If you don’t listen, you cannot know why it’s here. If you rely on your mind to tell you why suffering is here, you cannot know why it is really here. To deal with suffering, you must be present. You must be mindful. You must let your thoughts go and truly listen in this moment.
This is the only way to true freedom from suffering. The way to freedom from suffering is through suffering not away from it. When you listen to your suffering, without interpreting it through thoughts (as is our conditioned habit), you receive the message of this suffering. This message will lead you from what is not real to what is real. What is not real is your thoughts about life. What is real is life itself without your mental interpretations. Mindfulness is experiencing life as it is free of the distortions of mental interpretation.
Here is a video about the power of listening to our suffering: Listening – The Ultimate Healing
The Miracle of the Present Moment
Simply being present is a miracle. Without the mind’s interference, life is extraordinary, exquisite, perfect, alive and blissful. Simply being present with a mind empty of thoughts is wonderful beyond the mind’s ability to comprehend. Here is the source of bliss, happiness, peace and love beyond concepts. For no reason at all we feel blissfully alive, at one with all existence.
Sitting on my roof today,
the raindrops glitter like diamonds.
How extraordinary it is to be alive.
Conditioned thoughts have hidden this great miracle of life from us. They have hidden the reality of what we are from us. Conditioned thoughts convince us that we are a limited, independent being separate from all of existence. Is it any wonder that we experience suffering, frustration, doubt, sorrow, fear and anger? Caught in this illusion, how could we not?
Mindfulness, a mind empty of thought, is the cure for this illness of illusion and suffering.
Freedom from Thought
There are many spiritual practices that help us be free of attachment to thoughts. Questioning the reality of each thought is one of them.
The Work
Byron Katie’s The Work is a practice for questioning every thought we have. It begins with the thoughts that are causing the greatest suffering. Once we realize that this thought is not true, we experience immediate relief from the suffering that comes from believing it. Seeing the results of this often enough encourages us to do this with all of our thoughts. Eventually we realize that no thought that we’ve had has been true and we realize that no thought we ever will have can be true. This gives us enormous freedom from attachment to thoughts. If a thought isn’t true, why attach to it? When we realize this, we don’t.
The Work consists of four questions.
- Is it true?
- Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
- How do you react when you think that thought?
- Who would you be without that thought?
The first and second questions are similar. The reason for this is because questioning your thoughts is a practice. At first your thoughts are going to insist that this thought is true. After all, you already believe the thought is true. That’s why it’s causing you so much suffering. So you ask a second time and ask is there any possibility that this thought is not true? Is there any situation when this thought might not be true? You look deeply into this thought and question it. Eventually, if you’re honest about this, you have to reach the conclusion that “No, this thought is not always true. There are times when it isn’t true.” Your belief in the thought slowly begins to erode. As your belief dissolves, so does the suffering. Eventually you realize that the thought is just a thought, not reality. And that thought no longer brings you pain. When you are free of the suffering that comes from believing that thought, you already have the answer to the fourth question, “Who would you be without the thought?” You would be free of the suffering that comes from believing that thought. And you answer with your freedom from suffering. How wonderful! You’ve just saved yourself years of therapy bills.
Eventually you realize that no thought is true. This is wonderful freedom. You are no longer attached to thoughts. They no longer rule and control your life. Now you use thoughts (They’re useful.) but they no longer use you. You’re free.
Self-Inquiry
In Self-Inquiry, we question this “I” every time a thought includes this personal pronoun, which is most of the time.
“I like …”
“I don’t like …”
“I want …”
“I don’t want …”
“I think …”
“I believe …”
“I am …”
Who is this “I”? What is this “I”?
Most of us have not looked deeply into this “I” that we believe is who we are. What if it’s not? Self-inquiry is a practice, like meditation. Since we’re always thinking, we always have an opportunity to question our thoughts. This “I” thought is a primary thought, so there is a lot of opportunity to practice.
This is a very deep practice. You will discover that there are many layers to this self-identification. As you let go of one layer after another, you will experience an increasing sense of freedom, peace, joy and love. At times you’ll also experience fear and resistance. You’ve had this sense of self-identity for a very long time, even though without your realization it’s been constantly changing. Yet it still feels very familiar to you. You experience a reluctance to let it go. At this point, you either back off the practice or re-double your efforts. There are always periods of resistance in all spiritual practices. What you do at these turning points determines your success.
The Miracle of Mindfulness
In the end, there’s nothing more to all spiritual practice and teachings than being present. In presence we find the answer to all spiritual questions. Presence itself is the answer to all questions. Most of these answers are beyond the capability of the mind to conceptualize. These answers come in the form of our very being itself and the being of all existence. A thought cannot contain such answers. And yet presence contains all answers.
While our attention is limited to thoughts, we cannot experience presence. Perceiving life through the filter of thoughts is but a dream of past or future. Presence is far too full of life for a thought. When attention is set free from the confines of thought and opens fully to the wondrous reality of life, the miracle of mindfulness is directly realized. All questions are answered in this moment. All suffering ceases. You realize what you are. You realize what life is. You realize there has never been any difference. This is the Miracle of Mindfulness.
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Listening – The Ultimate Healing
The symptoms of all illness are a direct message to you. What is that message? Why is it here? You cannot find out from a doctor, medical expert or Google. It is a message specifically for you and nobody else. You can only discover this by listening to your own body. This kind of deep listening is the ultimate in healing. It will not only heal your symptoms but your entire life. In this video I introduce how and why you should do this.
Fear – the Main Obstacle to Awakening
The Main Obstacle to Awakening and What to Do About It
A wonderful question that many spiritual seekers have. “Does a change of this sort mean jumping off a cliff and losing everything? I’m scared of drama and terrified of irrevocable shifts.” Just last night at Satsang someone asked a very similar question. “Will abiding in this deep peace mean that the life I have worked so hard to create will fall apart?”
I think many people have deep questions like these. It is natural and maybe inevitable. The nature of the egoic separate self-identity we call “me” is actually created of fear. Much of this is repressed so we’re not aware of it. But as the door to awakening comes closer, we begin to become aware of the true nature of the ego, and that is fear. So this is a very deep and important question. And I’m happy to honor it.
Answer
Thank you for this question as its authenticity relates to many people who have the same question. This is a very deep and honest question. Just last night someone in Satsang asked this very same question. I thank you for expressing it. I feel your heart in this. So it also requires a deep and honest answer.
Yes, it does feel like we’re jumping off a cliff and risk losing everything. That is the initial fear of surrender. And, yes, we have to be willing to do that, to jump off this imaginary but very real feeling cliff and to risk losing everything, to surrender everything. That’s why it takes great courage. Eventually we just have to do it. Jump off the cliff, surrender absolutely everything.
This is not a place for careful, cautious stages. Surrender is a very bold move when the very nature of the separate self is fear. And it is. So the fear of doing this is natural and inevitable. The separate ego self identity is made entirely out of fear, fear of not surviving. And to surrender fully, we are saying, “Yes, even this. Even death.”
What We Lose and What We Gain
This all sounds like very bad news. It is what the ego is afraid of. The good news is we give up everything, we surrender everything, we lose everything, including ourself AND as a result, we GAIN everything. We have only really surrendered our attachment, an illusion. What we gain is reality. We gain the world. We gain relationships that were never possible before. We gain peace. We gain love. We gain a complete uninterrupted contentment, gratitude and joy. We gain freedom. We gain life. And we gain our True Self.
What we lose (illusion) pales in comparison to the unlimited magnitude of what we gain. So this news is very, very good. But you can only know this when you take the leap. My words are only encouragement if you take them that way. I’m saying, “Jump in. The water is fine. It’s wonderful.” But you have to jump. I can’t do that for you.
I know it’s terrifying to take that leap. Every awakened being has done this. And all have experienced this terror. It is part of the nature of waking up. And this terror is a big obstacle. Some never pass through it. In my case it was experience the terror and do it anyway. Not initially. I backed off many times. But finally, I took the leap. And then another. And then another. Eventually I realized this fear had no reality to it. I only realized this because I tested it again and again and what I feared never happened.
I gave up all my talent as an artist and creative person. The result turned out to be more talent and creativity than I ever imagined possible. I gave up my relationships or ever having a relationship ever again. The result was the flowering of all existing relationships and new relationships beyond anything I would have thought possible. Everything I gave up came back to me in abundance. How could I know this? I didn’t. I just surrendered.
I gave up a limited, vulnerable, separate self identity and realized This, the unlimited, infinite, beyond all possibility of identity. Nobody who has ever awakened to Truth said, “I wish I didn’t do that. Is it possible to return to illusion again?” No awakened being has ever said that. Nobody ever will.
It’s worth the leap. It’s worth all the struggle and seeking and suffering that helped to open this door. Even a single moment of this great presence is worth a thousand lifetimes. I know the fear, My Friend. And I know what happens when you leap anyway and discover for yourself what happens. Nobody has ever said all that went before was not worth This. Thank you for the wonderful question that so many also hold deep in their hearts.
The Inner War
There’s a war going on inside. It’s a conflict between the ego and truth. It’s a strange war because only the ego is fighting it.
But it’s fighting hard.
It’s fighting for its life.
The Kingdom Lives in Peace … Sort Of
Until we have our first awakening experience, we’re not aware of this war. The ego is firmly enthroned. It’s the absolute ruler of its domain. It sees very few real threats to its dominance. It doesn’t mean this is a peaceful kingdom. There are constant small threats. But for each insult and attack, the ego re-builds itself. These attacks are all external. They’re outside the walls of the ego’s castle. The ego can handle this. It may not be a happy kingdom but the ego remains the ruler of it. And that’s all the ego really wants.
The First Volley is Fired
But then one day something happens. A great and sudden feeling of freedom arises seemingly out of nowhere. It doesn’t come from outside. It comes from right inside these castle walls. And, for a moment, it completely sweeps the ego right off its throne.
Like any powerful ruler, the ego is upset. Clearly it’s been attacked by a formidable enemy. Difficult as the challenges from outside the castle walls have been, this new attack is totally disorienting. And what’s even worse, it feels incredibly good. Where the external attacks always left the ego feeling small, weak and vulnerable, this new attack feels wonderful, overflowing with freedom, peace, love and bliss. It’s a completely different type of threat and the ego doesn’t know what to do with it. When this new attack comes, the great freedom that is felt is freedom from the ego itself.
How can a king rule its kingdom if the king isn’t even here?
Awareness of the Inner War Begins
After our first taste of this great freedom, we become aware of this inner struggle between the ego, which we had always experienced as ourself, and something else. We don’t know what this something else is. We only know it’s accompanied by a great and profound feeling of freedom, peace, unconditional love and total well-being. We don’t know where this comes from or how or why it happens. But it is here. We experience it. This cannot be denied. Except the ego does deny it.
It denies it.
It tries to explain it and understand it in limited dualistic terms that limit and distort the life right out of it.
And, although it sometimes seems to seek it (spiritual ego), it sabotages this freedom at every turn.
The Ego Releases Its Big Guns
As these experiences of freedom become more frequent, the ego brings out its big guns.
There is the big gun of pride. “I’m special. I’m waking up. I’m becoming enlightened.”
There is the big gun of doubt. “I can’t do it. I’m not good enough. I’ll never wake up.” And the always popular favorite: “Maybe I’m going crazy.” Doubt is just the flip side of pride. They work well with each other, frequently changing places at a moment’s notice.
Fear
And there’s the biggest gun in the ego’s whole arsenal: fear. When the ego is most threatened by truth, it always relies on this big gun. Fear says, “Back off. To go any further is dangerous. If you continue, terrible things will happen to you. If you continue, you will die.” The fear of death is a wonderful threat. How are you going to wake up if you’re dead?
Fear is very effective. It’s often fear that stops the Seeker from waking up, at least for awhile.
The ego has an inside track on fear, an unfair advantage. It knows exactly what you’re most afraid of. It knows every thought and fear you have, because it’s you – kind of. The ego is like a very small and extremely limited, abstracted, thought-based version of you. Like Mini-Me in the Austin Powers movies. But a lot less real. 🙂
Since it’s not really you, only pretending, and it’s gotten away with it for so long, you can begin to see why it’s so afraid of truth. And truth is what you’re beginning to experience.
That’s good for you.
But not so good for the ego.
How Fear Backfires for the Ego
Although fear can stop you from progressing deeper into Truth for awhile, unless you’re very courageous and determined, in the long run it doesn’t work. The sheer unpleasantness of these barrages of fear cause you to take a closer look at the ego. And because of these fear tactics, you don’t like what you see. The contrast between the fear, despair and general suffering of the ego and the wonderful freedom, peace, love and well-being you experience as your True Self motivate you to spend increasingly more time in this great space of freedom from the ego. It just feels so much better. And this contrast only makes it all the more obvious. So the ego’s attempt to prevent you from waking up actually motivates you to wake up even sooner.
They’re Only Thoughts
As you spend more time in truth, you begin to realize through direct experience that all those fears which once overwhelmed you are really only thoughts. They actually have no power over you at all. At this point you naturally lose your attachment to and belief in thoughts. You realize they’re only thoughts. Thoughts no longer have power over you.
And one of those thoughts is the ego itself.
Truth Wins the War without Firing a Single Shot
You may notice that only the ego was fighting this war. Truth never fired a single shot. It never needed to. When we begin paying attention, truth is simply truth. It doesn’t need to prove itself, as the ego does. No matter what happens, truth simply remains what it is.
When we realize that all thoughts are simply thoughts, not reality, not truth, they lose power over us. Fear, the biggest gun in the ego’s entire arsenal, no longer has any power over us at all. It’s just another thought.
In this way, the inner war comes to an end. The ego takes its rightful place, not as the ruler, but as a servant, a servant of truth.
A Sacred Place
I always learn so much every time I meditate up on top of Cathedral Rock in Sedona. It is a great teacher to me. I imagine that Ramana Maharshi didn’t just worship Arunachala, the holy mountain where he lived, but that he too learned from it. It might be strange to say that a rock can teach us. But I cannot deny this for it is so.
I have a very powerful connection with Cathedral Rock. There are many sacred places in Sedona I could choose to spend time with. But Cathedral Rock has called me, probably not that different from Ramana being called from his home by the holy mountain Arunachala. I can’t really explain it. Perhaps everyone has a sacred place that calls them. They just may not have heard it yet.
Actually there is no place on earth that is not sacred. But some specific places seem to call to us with more force than others. I don’t know why this is.
The Koan
Over five years ago, when I was first called to Sedona, I was given this koan: “The rocks and you are exactly the same. There is not an inch of difference between you.” Perhaps it’s not a coincidence that the name Peter means rock. But that’s not what this koan is about. If you are not familiar with the term koan, it is a Zen practice for awakening. It is a simple phrase Zen teachers give to their students like, “Show me your Original Face before your parents were born.” When this phrase sinks deeply into the student’s consciousness, it is like a seed deeply planted in fertile soil. Eventually this seed grows and blossoms into a beautiful and profound awakening. Unlike the seed of a plant, the seed of a koan continues blossoming as there is no end to awakening. It blossoms infinitely.
This koan was given to me by the rocks, specifically Cathedral Rock and Thunder Mountain. You could also say it was given to me by the infinite consciousness that all things emerge from. It is the same thing. This koan sunk deeply into my consciousness. And it continues to blossom every day manifesting in beautiful flowers of increasingly deep insight.
Tree People
For the last month or so every time I pass one certain tree on my ascent up Cathedral Rock, out of the corner of my eye I very clearly see a person. I alway look and there is not a person, but that same tree. It’s strange that this would always happen the same way at the same spot with that same tree. Today I realized why. In my previous life, I didn’t just consider humans people. I considered trees, tree people, rocks, rock people, birds, bird people. That was my relationship with all that is. I had a great deal of respect and love for all that is. I didn’t see human people as better than tree people, rock people or bird people. There was an experience of Oneness. When I said, “All my ancestors.” there was nothing left out of that expression. My ancestors included trees, rocks, birds, the sun, the stars, the great mother earth herself. This was a few hundred years ago and today, in our sophisticated modern society, some people may consider this primitive. But I don’t consider it primitive at all. I consider it truth.
And what Cathedral Rock did was simply remind me of this, remind me of my old ways, remind me of truth that much of our modern, sophisticated society seems to have forgotten. This is what I mean when I say that Cathedral Rock is always teaching me.
But that wasn’t the only lesson I was to receive today. When I reached the top, I sat in meditation as I always do, welcoming and being welcomed by the sun, the rocks and the wind. Since it was a weekend, there were many people up there. Cathedral Rock is one of the most popular hiking destinations in Sedona. This is not the first time I wondered why I was called to such a popular place when there are far quieter and more remote places to meditate. Today Cathedral Rock showed me why.
Human People
Human people are generally a pretty noisy bunch. They love to talk and comment on whatever is going on. And this trait may be even more prominent when they are on vacation and they come upon such a beautiful place. I’ve gotten used to this, but I can’t say I enjoy it. And don’t forget, Cathedral Rock is a very holy place for me. What some people may experience entering a great cathedral, an ashram or a Zen monastery, I experience on Cathedral Rock. It is a very sacred space for me. And with all the noise going on, it’s sometimes a little hard to hear what the rocks have to tell me.
Today I learned that much of my reaction was due to traumas I experienced as a child. My father used to tell me that “humans are the number one bad animal”. He loved animals and all nature, but he didn’t feel the same about humans. He said that humans are the only species that kill each other and they kill other species just for fun. He spent a long time in the military during World War II. He began before the US was even involved. He saw a lot of death up close. Both my parents were alcoholic and there was a lot of violence in my home. I learned early on to be afraid of adult humans. And this fear and reason for fear was reinforced outside the home as well.
Sitting up on Cathedral Rock, I felt completely at one with the rock people, the tree people, the sky people, the sun people, the wind people, the bird people. I felt at home, at one and in love with all these people, with only one exception – the human people. This reflected my early childhood as well. I could sit out in the middle of the forest on a pitch black moonless night, listening to the sounds of the night animals, and feel completely safe and at home. In fact, I felt completely at one with everything in nature. I did this a lot because it was not always as safe in my house. In my house, there were humans. And they didn’t make me feel safe the way I felt in the forest. And here, up on Cathedral Rock, I was experiencing this again. I wasn’t afraid of the humans who were chattering away. But I was resisting them. I was not including them in the great circle of oneness that included everything else. This was a great and valuable teaching for me. That is why this popular, crowded place, filled with chattering humans, was the perfect place for my spiritual practice and education.
Little by little, I included the humans into this circle of oneness, this circle of unconditional love, this circle of truth. I realized that everything that I perceived, the rocks, trees, sun, wind were all simply expressions of this one, infinite, formless, un-manifested presence. I could feel this deeply throughout my entire being. And I was also none other than an expression of this infinite, eternal presence. So why leave humans out of this truth? Everything is an expression of this one timeless presence. And everything IS this one timeless presence. And that means all humans, just like these wonderful humans chattering away up here. And then I opened completely. I was no longer resisting. Rocks, trees, wind, birds, humans all one expression of the infinite and timeless presence. My heart exploded in love. It reached throughout all space and time. And then I saw the exquisite beauty of these humans. While I was resisting, I could not see it. This essential goodness was radiating from all of them. One young man climbed down a very steep part of the rock to retrieve plastic water bottles other hikers had thrown there. Another man was talking about working with autistic children and I could feel his love and compassion. Everywhere the flower of humanity was revealed to me. What I had perceived as annoying chattering showing a lack of respect for this sacred space, I now realized was instead pure love. It could no longer be hidden by my previous stored and repressed traumas.
For most of us, it is relatively easy to love nature and feel comfortable in nature, just as it is for me. Humans are more challenging. But humans are also nature and cannot be separate from nature. Humans are a bit of a paradox. On one hand they are the only species we know of who can fully awaken to their True Infinite Self. On the other hand few ever do. Although that is beginning to change. But, even at their most ignorant, they are pure expressions of the infinite and eternal presence that is the source and substance of all things. I guess sometimes I forget that. And, like a great teacher and loving mother, Cathedral Rock always seems to give me exactly what I need exactly when I need it.
I’m feeling that my next stop may be Times Square in New York. If I can sit in the middle of that bustling caldron of humanity and feel nothing but perfect peace and love, I think the lesson begun on top of Cathedral Rock will have truly manifested. It may take a little longer than an hour. I may have to give it a few days. Life gives us so many opportunities to practice, to learn, to grow. Whatever we need always arises as soon as we need it. The trick is paying attention. Throughout most of my life I missed most of these great gifts, almost all of them. I didn’t know how to pay attention. I didn’t even know I should. I lived in a dream world. Until I began meditating, I didn’t even know how to be quiet enough to pay attention. But that’s okay. That’s the course of a human life. We’re always moving, always evolving, always learning. Truth has never been kept from us. We’ve just spent a lot of time being distracted and not paying attention. When we begin paying attention, we begin to see our sacred place everywhere.