N-lightenment

Something in you already knows.

Your Essential Nature

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Meditation Into Your Essential Nature

Whatever thoughts appear realize for just a moment that they are not appearing to you. They are not happening to you. They are not happening for you. They are not your thoughts. They are simply happening. That is all. There is no you for them to happen to or to own them. They are simply happening. They simply are.
 
Whatever feelings arise, notice that this is also true of all feelings. They are not happening to you or for you. They are not your feelings. There is no you for them to happen to or for. There is no you to own these feelings. They simply are.
 
Whatever experiences arise, notice this is just as true for them. Good or bad or neutral, they are not your experiences. They are not happening to you or for you. There is no you for them to happen to or for or to own them. In this moment they simply are.
 
And that’s all you can really say about you as well. You simply are, not as a person, a human, a male or female, not as a body, not as thoughts or stories of a life, not as experiences. Not as anything you can conceive of. You are non-conceptual reality, which is the only reality there is. Everything else is a just a thought, an illusion, a dream.
 
This is what it means to be Self Realized. This is the Self that is realized. It is not an object you can look at, analyze, describe or understand. It is the fundamental nature of reality. When you let go of the entire imagined story of you, this is what is left. Neither nothing nor something nor somebody has anything to do with it. These are just concepts. This is reality.
 
As long as you hold any concepts about it or anything else, you are distracted from the simplicity and unlimited infinite nature of reality. And this is what you are. This is what everything you perceive really is.
 
And all you can say about it is that it is. You cannot say what it is. You can only say it is. Everything else is a concept that distracts you from what is. It’s far better to say nothing at all, for that is closest to reality. But this is a start.
Let this painting be a reminder for you. If you feel drawn to it, you can copy it from this page. Prints are also available form the link below.

Art Prints

Freedom

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bird-cage2To erase all concepts from the mind is to see life fresh, new, alive and unlimited. The great bliss, freedom, peace and love that arise naturally and effortlessly as soon as we do this shows that it was never more than these concepts that kept us from realizing the miracle of life as it is.

We may feel that we are prisoners of our conditioned minds. But this has never been so. We’ve been sitting in a cage of our own making, but the door has always been wide open. We could always step outside at any time. How about now?

We can use spiritual practices like Self-Inquiry to free ourselves from addiction to the limiting and distorting concepts that have ruled our lives. We may have build a foundation of these limiting concepts, but that doesn’t mean they are as solid as we think. Simply questioning them reveals their fragile and insubstantial nature. When looked at clearly, they crumble.

You’ll find many practices on this website that will help you step out of this limiting conceptual prison and realize the great freedom you already have.

Spiritual Attention Deficit Disorder (SADD)

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pay-attentionWhy attention is THE single most important factor in your awakening and remaining awake.

If your attention remains focused on awake consciousness, then you remain always awake. It’s as simple as that. This is what it means to be awake. Your attention is no longer distracted by thoughts, feelings, situations and events. Although you are always aware of them and everything else that is happening, you are never pulled away from the greater reality, which is always here.

Most people, after they first become aware of their thoughts as separate from who they are, believe it is their thoughts that keep them trapped in illusion and suffering. But this is not true. It is not the thoughts themselves, but the attention focused on the thoughts that creates all this suffering. The thoughts themselves are completely harmless. Remove your attention from them and they seem to disappear into the background.

Test this out in your own life.

Retreats

This is what happens when you go on an extended spiritual retreat for a week or longer. If it is only for a week, you may spend the first few days with your attention still being distracted by your thoughts. There will be some time when your attention is focused on the deeper truth and experience of awake consciousness, but your attention is easily distracted by your thoughts, as this is your conditioned habit. After three days or so, your attention remains more and more on awake consciousness, the experience of great peace, love, oneness, happiness without cause. Finally toward the end of the retreat your attention remains mostly on awake consciousness.

And then the retreat is over. You go home. You return to your “normal” life. The distractions begin again quickly. Within a day or two the wonderful experience of profound peace, love and joy seem to fade away. All that has really happened is that your attention has been distracted and you have allowed this to happen. You allow it because you have been conditioned to do exactly this.

This profound freedom, peace, love and happiness you experienced on the retreat is actually always here. It never actually needed a retreat. It just needed you to shift your attention to what is always here. And the retreat helped you do this. It helped you focus your attention on something that is truer than all the distractions. But you’re used to focusing your attention on the distractions. You’ve been trained to keep the focus of your attention away from Truth and onto anything but Truth.

Satsang

Satsang is the same thing. Satsang is “living in truth” or “being in good company”. So during these few hours, we return our focus to what has always been here. And this feels wonderful. For some the mind is still distracting our attention. But the environment of Satsang is so focused and the energy of awake consciousness is so strong that it pulls the attention of most of us back to it even if it occasionally drifts away.

The more time we spend with our attention fully on awake consciousness, fully on presence, fully in Truth, the easier it is for us to keep our attention here.

For information about Satsang with a Living Awake Group click here: Living Awake Groups

For more information about Satsang and spiritual energy transmission: Satsang – Living in Truth

Ongoing Persistent Attention on Awake Consciousness

Eventually we learn to do this all the time in every situation. Even in the most strenuous physical exertion we can keep our attention in this spacious awareness that includes everything while still being aware of the body and its exertion. We don’t lose anything by doing this. It actually makes athletic performance far more efficient. It’s sometimes referred to as “being in the flow”. If our attention is limited to the body and thoughts about this exertion, we become overly self-conscious and have less strength, flexibility, power and stamina. Our physical activity becomes just as limited just as our attention is.

Meditation

Meditation is not so much a vehicle for awakening as it is a practice for disciplining our attention. Most of us are slaves to our attention. It controls us rather than the other way around. This means we have become slaves to our thoughts and feelings. We have very undisciplined minds. What is called Attention Deficit Disorder is far more widespread than thought. For many of us meditation may be our first experience with true mental discipline. We received some training in school to keep our minds focused on the task at hand. But as long as we’re not studying for an exam or engrossed in a movie, our thoughts are running all over the place and our attention is running right after them. Meditation is the beginning of removing the majority of our attention from our thoughts and allowing it to rest in a much broader and less limited field of attention. The more we do this, the more disciplined our minds become and the better we feel. Eventually we are no longer controlled by our thoughts at all. We realize a freedom that has always been here, but through our limited attention we were unaware of.

For more information about various meditation techniques, click here.
Basic Meditation
Effortless Meditation
Advanced Meditation – the Gap

The Value of Attention

There are times when we do want our attention to be limited to a very narrow focus, at least for a moment. If we suddenly step on a nail and it goes through our foot, the sudden pain pulls our full attention toward our foot and we do what is necessary. If a truck coming toward us suddenly veers into our lane, we immediately focus our attention on this and take the appropriate action until the danger has passed. While our attention is focused on these things, the freedom, peace, love and happiness that is always here doesn’t disappear. It’s only that our attention for a moment moves instantly to something else. This is appropriate, good and necessary. But this is a momentary movement of attention. If we keep our attention on the accident we just avoided and play it over and over in our minds, this is completely unnecessary and keeps us locked in a dream world of thoughts.

Spiritual Teachers

Some spiritual teachers exude a very powerful energetic transmission. It seems to radiate from them. Many spiritual teachers have clever and interesting things to say. But with certain teachers it doesn’t matter what they say. They can remain completely quiet. Still this powerful energy is felt and affects many people. It is helpful to be in the presence of such teachers. The force of their attention riveted on Truth pulls everyone’s attention to this same Truth in themselves.

Often when we experience such teachers, our attention remains on our True Being for a period of time, but just as in retreats, our attention is soon distracted by the many other things going on in our life, especially our thoughts.

Short Moments Repeated Often

One way to deal with this Spiritual Attention Deficit Disorder (SADD) is to repeatedly throughout the day remind ourselves of Truth, to return to this experience of expansiveness, freedom, peace, love, joy, to ignore our thoughts and simply be present to the greater awareness of what is without making any judgments or having any opinions about it. Even if we return to Truth for only a few moments before being distracted by our thoughts again, eventually the moments in Truth will grow. We are overcoming a lifetime habit of living in illusion. And this habit has been supported and reinforced by everyone we know. Don’t be hard on yourself. Every moment of Truth is a good moment. We can learn to turn our attention toward Truth in every situation. And we can learn, eventually, to keep it here. Let it begin with short moments. This is how we overcome Spiritual Attention Deficit Disorder one short step at a time.

Any time and in any way we return to moments of Truth helps us. Whether this is on retreat, in meditation, in Satsang with an awake teacher, reading spiritual books, or watching videos, every moment is helpful. The longer we remain in each moment of Truth and the more this is repeated, the more our attention shifts from illusion to Truth. Eventually illusion no longer interests us. It no longer grabs our attention and our attention remains in Truth.

This is how we wake up.

Awakening Experiences

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It’s interesting to see what the experiences of others is. And perhaps you can see what is common to all of them. Please understand that you will have your own experience. Everyone’s conditioning has this same commonality and is also completely unique. So your experience of awakening will also be unique. What is common to all these experiences as well as what you will experience is the end of ego, self-identification. But it will happen to you in your own completely unique and beautiful way, like the blooming of a flower in Springtime.

 

A Sacred Place

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a-sacred-placeI always learn so much every time I meditate up on top of Cathedral Rock in Sedona. It is a great teacher to me. I imagine that Ramana Maharshi didn’t just worship Arunachala, the holy mountain where he lived, but that he too learned from it. It might be strange to say that a rock can teach us. But I cannot deny this for it is so.

I have a very powerful connection with Cathedral Rock. There are many sacred places in Sedona I could choose to spend time with. But Cathedral Rock has called me, probably not that different from Ramana being called from his home by the holy mountain Arunachala. I can’t really explain it. Perhaps everyone has a sacred place that calls them. They just may not have heard it yet.

Ramana / Arunachala

Actually there is no place on earth that is not sacred. But some specific places seem to call to us with more force than others. I don’t know why this is.

a-rockThe Koan

Over five years ago, when I was first called to Sedona, I was given this koan: “The rocks and you are exactly the same. There is not an inch of difference between you.” Perhaps it’s not a coincidence that the name Peter means rock. But that’s not what this koan is about. If you are not familiar with the term koan, it is a Zen practice for awakening. It is a simple phrase Zen teachers give to their students like, “Show me your Original Face before your parents were born.” When this phrase sinks deeply into the student’s consciousness, it is like a seed deeply planted in fertile soil. Eventually this seed grows and blossoms into a beautiful and profound awakening. Unlike the seed of a plant, the seed of a koan continues blossoming as there is no end to awakening. It blossoms infinitely.

This koan was given to me by the rocks, specifically Cathedral Rock and Thunder Mountain. You could also say it was given to me by the infinite consciousness that all things emerge from. It is the same thing. This koan sunk deeply into my consciousness. And it continues to blossom every day manifesting in beautiful flowers of increasingly deep insight.

tree8Tree People

For the last month or so every time I pass one certain tree on my ascent up Cathedral Rock, out of the corner of my eye I very clearly see a person. I alway look and there is not a person, but that same tree. It’s strange that this would always happen the same way at the same spot with that same tree. Today I realized why. In my previous life, I didn’t just consider humans people. I considered trees, tree people, rocks, rock people, birds, bird people. That was my relationship with all that is. I had a great deal of respect and love for all that is. I didn’t see human people as better than tree people, rock people or bird people. There was an experience of Oneness. When I said, “All my ancestors.” there was nothing left out of that expression. My ancestors included trees, rocks, birds, the sun, the stars, the great mother earth herself. This was a few hundred years ago and today, in our sophisticated modern society, some people may consider this primitive. But I don’t consider it primitive at all. I consider it truth.

And what Cathedral Rock did was simply remind me of this, remind me of my old ways, remind me of truth that much of our modern, sophisticated society seems to have forgotten. This is what I mean when I say that Cathedral Rock is always teaching me.

But that wasn’t the only lesson I was to receive today. When I reached the top, I sat in meditation as I always do, welcoming and being welcomed by the sun, the rocks and the wind. Since it was a weekend, there were many people up there. Cathedral Rock is one of the most popular hiking destinations in Sedona. This is not the first time I wondered why I was called to such a popular place when there are far quieter and more remote places to meditate. Today Cathedral Rock showed me why.

Human People

Human people are generally a pretty noisy bunch. They love to talk and comment on whatever is going on. And this trait may be even more prominent when they are on vacation and they come upon such a beautiful place. I’ve gotten used to this, but I can’t say I enjoy it. And don’t forget, Cathedral Rock is a very holy place for me. What some people may experience entering a great cathedral, an ashram or a Zen monastery, I experience on Cathedral Rock. It is a very sacred space for me. And with all the noise going on, it’s sometimes a little hard to hear what the rocks have to tell me.

Today I learned that much of my reaction was due to traumas I experienced as a child. My father used to tell me that “humans are the number one bad animal”. He loved animals and all nature, but he didn’t feel the same about humans. He said that humans are the only species that kill each other and they kill other species just for fun. He spent a long time in the military during World War II. He began before the US was even involved. He saw a lot of death up close. Both my parents were alcoholic and there was a lot of violence in my home. I learned early on to be afraid of adult humans. And this fear and reason for fear was reinforced outside the home as well.

Sitting up on Cathedral Rock, I felt completely at one with the rock people, the tree people, the sky people, the sun people, the wind people, the bird people. I felt at home, at one and in love with all these people, with only one exception – the human people. This reflected my early childhood as well. I could sit out in the middle of the forest on a pitch black moonless night, listening to the sounds of the night animals, and feel completely safe and at home. In fact, I felt completely at one with everything in nature. I did this a lot because it was not always as safe in my house. In my house, there were humans. And they didn’t make me feel safe the way I felt in the forest. And here, up on Cathedral Rock, I was experiencing this again. I wasn’t afraid of the humans who were chattering away. But I was resisting them. I was not including them in the great circle of oneness that included everything else. This was a great and valuable teaching for me. That is why this popular, crowded place, filled with chattering humans, was the perfect place for my spiritual practice and education.

Little by little, I included the humans into this circle of oneness, this circle of unconditional love, this circle of truth. I realized that everything that I perceived, the rocks, trees, sun, wind were all simply expressions of this one, infinite, formless, un-manifested presence. I could feel this deeply throughout my entire being. And I was also none other than an expression of this infinite, eternal presence. So why leave humans out of this truth? Everything is an expression of this one timeless presence. And everything IS this one timeless presence. And that means all humans, just like these wonderful humans chattering away up here. And then I opened completely. I was no longer resisting. Rocks, trees, wind, birds, humans all one expression of the infinite and timeless presence. My heart exploded in love. It reached throughout all space and time. And then I saw the exquisite beauty of these humans. While I was resisting, I could not see it. This essential goodness was radiating from all of them. One young man climbed down a very steep part of the rock to retrieve plastic water bottles other hikers had thrown there. Another man was talking about working with autistic children and I could feel his love and compassion. Everywhere the flower of humanity was revealed to me. What I had perceived as annoying chattering showing a lack of respect for this sacred space, I now realized was instead pure love. It could no longer be hidden by my previous stored and repressed traumas.

For most of us, it is relatively easy to love nature and feel comfortable in nature, just as it is for me. Humans are more challenging. But humans are also nature and cannot be separate from nature. Humans are a bit of a paradox. On one hand they are the only species we know of who can fully awaken to their True Infinite Self. On the other hand few ever do. Although that is beginning to change. But, even at their most ignorant, they are pure expressions of the infinite and eternal presence that is the source and substance of all things. I guess sometimes I forget that. And, like a great teacher and loving mother, Cathedral Rock always seems to give me exactly what I need exactly when I need it.

I’m feeling that my next stop may be Times Square in New York. If I can sit in the middle of that bustling caldron of humanity and feel nothing but perfect peace and love, I think the lesson begun on top of Cathedral Rock will have truly manifested. It may take a little longer than an hour. I may have to give it a few days. Life gives us so many opportunities to practice, to learn, to grow. Whatever we need always arises as soon as we need it. The trick is paying attention. Throughout most of my life I missed most of these great gifts, almost all of them. I didn’t know how to pay attention. I didn’t even know I should. I lived in a dream world. Until I began meditating, I didn’t even know how to be quiet enough to pay attention. But that’s okay. That’s the course of a human life. We’re always moving, always evolving, always learning. Truth has never been kept from us. We’ve just spent a lot of time being distracted and not paying attention. When we begin paying attention, we begin to see our sacred place everywhere.